Tonight I am feeling the impossible-to-ignore urge to write. Like my life depends on it. Because it kind of does.   Writing comes easy. Words just fall out of me. Insights unfold. There is no forcing. I don’t rock up to the page with a plan. The words appear and the lines take care of […]

It has been years. Since we last spoke. We spent time in the same place. We held each other.  Last night though, we were together in a dream. I still feel you with me.  Today I sit in a cafe and then there you are again. In the form of a song. Yesterday on film. […]

You were the only one I ever got mad enough at to care You were the only one who put me in my place You were the only one who ever hurt me that much You were the only one I wanted to wish me happy birthday You were the only one I cared about […]

Tonight, I sit on a balcony in Berlin. The air is warm, the tree-lined view peaceful and the buzz from the street floats all around me. This is where I now live. This is my new life. I find it hard to believe that a year ago to the day I was moving out of […]

Today we started proceedings. It was a simple enough action required on my part. To find our marriage certificate, scan and send it to my ex. A standard piece of admin. The kind of task you complete every day, in your day to day life. How can something so small feel so big? I think […]

I’ve spent the last couple of years avoiding sad thoughts. Hiding from a pain that I’ve masked with a cheery smile and a distant gaze. Looking ahead, optimistically pushing on through. Denying the feelings beneath. Answering “fine”, every time, to those who enquire. It’s a behaviour I learnt growing up. We didn’t admit our feelings […]

A few days ago I shut up shop. Packed up everything I own. Moved out of my flat. Quit my job. Booked a flight. And left the country. With nothing (other than family & friends) to return to. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal these days. To leave everything behind and flee to […]

Today I let go of something really special to me. Someone actually. Technically they let go of me, but I accepted their choice and in turn let it go. Love and dating is hard. Especially when you are starting over. It hurts. It’s risky. And it’s brave. It’s brave to try again. Knowing that it […]

Anyone who has made a relationship change in their life will tell you, that yes it was awful. Yes it was hard. Possibly worse, maybe not, than you thought, but really blooming tough. What they may not say though is that while removing that plaster hurt like hell, what really gets you is the day […]